Random Muse

Some random thoughts from my life recently:
1. $2400, an MRI, an x-ray, 3 doctors, 4 excruciating physical exams and 14 hours do not guarantee that you can find out why your shoulder doesn't work;
2.  A cortisone shot feels like a bayonet being rammed into your shoulder and then jalapeno butter pumped in behind it;
3.  Cortisone shots are overrated;
4.  Employees undergoing chemotherapy do not care that your shoulder hurts;
5.  Middle school cheerleader coaches would have been excellent officers in the Third Reich;
6. Street sweepers are about as effective as dusting, but much louder;
7.  Cellophane can be used to simulate cell phone static;
8.  I have a friend whose husband thinks something is wrong with her phone;
9.  Add one more couple in my acquaintence with a cheater amongst them to the list;
10.  NFL quarterbacks should not take pictures of their privates with a cell phone;
11.  For that matter, neither should anyone else.
12.  Cell phones are the death of cheaters, see no. 9.
13.  No. 8 and No. 9 are not related subjects.
14. If two middle school girls were on death row, they would inevitably swear never to speak to the other again for the rest of their life, or the other's execution, whichever comes first;
15.  Some middle school girls would cause less trouble if they were on death row;
16.  Who is Snooki and why is she important?
17.  For $5000 Newt Gingrich will name you Business Person of the Year and invite you to D.C. to watch the election returns;
18.  I will not be named Business Person of the Year in 2010;
19.  NPR fired Juan Williams for being racist.  Seriously. And,
20.  I can write down 20 random thoughts in less than 3 minutes.